This Weeks Topic: Teachers

It could be a favorite teacher or un-favorite, kindergarten or college. Teachers among us might want to consider teachers we would like to be like, and if we come close to meeting our aspirations. Teachers who seemed like other beings, who, looking back, we realize are us.

Sorry, no extra credit.

Disappointment Has A Name

And it is On The Lot

(If you haven’t seen it, you might want to skip this post…It is long and grueling and deals only with On The Lot.)

Tonight I sat through an hour long tribal council with no flashbacks and more commercial breaks than the last half hour of a movie on the USA network. That's not entertainment, and I won’t be coming back for more. I have to assume that financing a number of mini-films each week is expensive, so it makes sense to have two night in order to garner twice the advertisers. Tuesday "elimination" nights must be comparatively cheap to produce, but this felt so incredibly manipulative I can’t believe the ratings will be good after the first week. We’ve heard the scary tension music before. The Eva-Longoria-look-alike host’s patter is annoying and repetitive, and I’m already beginning to hate her… though I believe this to be through no fault of her own, as I doubt she is writing her own material, or scheduling the commercial breaks.

I’m sorry to say this, as I was really intrigued by the concept. I applaud the fact that so far they are not showing too much of the interpersonal conflicts that make up so many of these shows, so that people can actually vote on the basis of the movies. Still, the hole that is left needs to be filled with some kind of substance.

I wish they had work-shopped before airing. This would have been my feedback letter.

Dear Creator’s of The Lot:

Thanks for sharing your new show with me. What a great idea with lots of potential!

This show appeals to people who love movies and movie-making. Can you capitalize on this? Don’t show the set itself--anyone who has spent much time on a set realizes that it will make you like movies and the people who make them a little less every time—but show us specific things about how this show is constructed. For most of us, the world of movie making is as strange and interesting as lifestyles of the rich and famous, but instead of just being decadent, in film the weird expensive stuff is actually used to make something.

Zac’s science lab movie…where did the props come from, a warehouse, or were they made special? Can Eva take us down the aisle of a prop rental house, or interview the person who designs and makes them. Can you tell us what movies they were originally used for? How much does everything cost? Can you shoot a breezy E Entertainment segment on how the big piano is rigged to fall, what it’s really made of, what precautions need to be taken? These little educational tours, will give us something we can look for and identify when we watch the films. It will make us feel smart—and we like that feeling!

Same thing for the weekly movie assignments, people like to look forward more than look back. To say “Can you believe Kenny Luby is still on, Claudia got robbed,” takes all of two seconds, but if we know what the parameters for the next week’s film, how long, what genre, what elements it must contain…then there is room for speculation.

A reality show, at its roots, is a game show with more psycho-social voyeurism. Especially since you are veering away from the voyeuristic aspect (Yeah, you!), you shouldn’t forget the game component. People like game shows because we can put ourselves in the place of a contestant, think what we would do, guess what they will do, but in order to do this we have to understand at least some of the rules. Allow us to use our imaginations, give us something to talk about at happy hour!

Now, Tuesday nights…here’s your chance to give us some personal connection with the contestants. It’s great to wait until after the vote, but pre-record statements where contestants talk—not about each other, and not even much about fears for their fate on the game, but about their visions for the films that they shot, where they got the idea, what they were aiming for…So much movie watching today leaves us wondering “What were they thinking?” And here we have the opportunity to know. Play these little snippets while you are stalling to use time between commercials. We will feel more suspense for these contestants if we know them a little better, we will like them more, if we realize how hard they are trying to do something specific.

Hope this feedback helps.
I look forward to seeing the final version of this, when it’s good.

Sincerely,
B

Weather Report

It’s smoky, and has been for days. The skies look cloudy and grey, and there is grey haze over everything. The winds smell, not unpleasant, but unhealthy…as in it doesn’t feel healthy to breath only smoky air! In Tallahassee we can’t see the fires but there are something like fifteen burning around the state, the biggest—reportedly the biggest in two decades--is in Big Cypress National Preserve, apparently it is really multiple fires that have been burning for three weeks after being sparked by lighting strikes. So far they have burned 76 square miles of preserve.

One article I’ve read says the fire will be good for the ecosystem of the preserve, that it is just creeping through the understory, and that “once the fire is out and the thick, ground-hugging brush is gone, deer, turkey and rabbits likely will return to feast on the new vegetation.”

Plant life is particularly dry and susceptible to fire right now, as South Florida is in the midst of an 18-month drought. Living in town, and on the Northern border of Florida, we don’t see much evidence of it day to day, but it does feel like it hasn’t rained for a very long time. It feels like a good rain would clear the air.

Great Idea

I have a friend who has recently acquired a number of freelance writing gigs for Outside Magazine. Talking to some friends the other day I noted that I, too, would like to have a freelance career, however with my pale skin and lack of athletic abilities, I am ill-equipped to pitch stories where I climb tall mountains or sail around the world. Thus my great idea:

Inside Magazine: For People Who Don't Really Like To Go Outside.

I can see many possibilities for articles: The Best Software Programs for Cataloging Your DVD's; The Delivery Dining Guide; Schedule Your Summer TV Viewing With This Handy Fold Out Guide.

And then if we absolutely must discuss camping, there are two ways to go: Best Camping Equipment to Make it Feel Like You Are Actually Indoors, and Susie's idea--How To Camp Indoors With a Bedsheet.


If you have ideas, send'em in!

Me and my self loathing

I have not written any of my screenplay since Monday, and Monday's work was pretty lame...Today I had screenwriting class and it was inspirational, I fel like I coudl forge ahead. Then I met with my ficiton teacher from last term who gave me some revision advice for a piece that I also felt very enthusiastic about.

But somehow, despite all this inspriation and enthusiasm , when I got home, I needed to take a nap. And then I let Paul talk me into dinner out, and then I needed to answer emails, return phone calls.

Now I'm at the coffee shop, having a cuppa with my self loathing and preparing to write. Just thought I'd give you the update..that's not procrastinating, is it?

P.E.

So the "All-Skate" subject for the week, courtesy of Ms. Susie Lee, is P.E. Here's the odd thing. I have no strong memories about P.E.. I'm not so good with much that is ball related, which I have performance anxiety about now--recent Volleyball games with my neighbors have brought this to light-- but I can't trace this back to any formative traumatic events. Here are afew things I can remember;

In fifth grade,we had a game called "Nukem" that was a variant of volleyball I think. We had the net, but were allowed ot catch the ball. it must not have made a huge impression, as I have no impulse to catch the ball when I play volleyball now. Truthfully, all my instincts lean toward total ball avoidance.

At some point, probably highschool, I think we went to the bowling alley for gym. i did not become a good boweler.

In college, my friend Amy and I signed up for an elective P.E. class called "Billiards,' in hopes of becoming pool sharks. Our instructor was a grad student specializing in track and field. I did not become a pool shark,

although I did often quiz Amy for her French exams during this hour, and I believe she did do well in French.

Weekend report

Pretty damn calm. Played Catan with English dept friends on Friday night. fun. Hung out with Film dept peeps on Saturday night. Also really nice. Days mostly devoted to writing...my screenplay is pretty bogged in the second act, but I am doing pretty well at plowing through four pages daily even if it takes five hours and is kind of shit...i'm still in that "I can fix it later" stage, where I figure it's more important just to make it through an entire draft.

Also branched out a little...saw my first movie at the All Saints Cinema at the railroad station...the documentary "Maxed Out," about our debtor economy, from the poor to the middle class to the government. Interesting information, but not a great film, sadly. Kind of choppy and clunky, and seemed a little unsure of what it wanted to say, beyond, "look at these many examples of people in debt and people talking about debt." The "voice" of the piece felt kind of amateurish, but was still probably worth seeing.

Then tonight, "Second Sunday Salon" met some arty types and played writinng games. Good fun.

loans, schmoans

Today I went through the tedious project of finding all the different records of my loans, the ones kept by FSU, the ones FSU submits to the government for my 1098 tax forms, and the total pricipal that Sallie Mae, the lending agency has on file. I added up to the best of my ability, and came up with three different numbers of amounts I could owe...a large number, a larger number and a number that was larger than that.

I was of course, hoping that perhaps the large number would be the goer, but after two hours with the nice man at the financial aid office, I am convinced that the largest number is correct.

So, I owe lots of money, but one the bright side, I have relocated or re-established five different sets of numbers and passwords for different accounts, and kind of remember where to find them.

Five down, One hundred fifteen to go.

Today I began my screenplay. A first draft is due on June 8th and should be around one hundred and twenty pages...give or take. I don't really know how long this will take, but our teacher says that many people say to estimate about an hour a page. Some days will be faster, others slower. There are 37 days untill June 8. I should probably try to get done in 35 so I can spend a couple of days checking the spelling and things like that. So...35 goes into 120...okay, that's too hard, and I might have to skip a few days to go see my parents or something, so lets say...30 days. 30 into 120 is 4. I need to write four hours a day, averaging a page an hour.

Today I sat at the computer for closer to five hours. But the first two contained a fair amount of surfing for highschool trivia and downloading and reading the script to Mean Girls. But I did get four pages, actually to the top of five. Yeah me! Now I just need to do that 29 more times!

Have laptop, will sweat

A recent poll noted that a number of items that used to be considered luxurey items we now consider to be necessary just to get along in the world.

Percent of adults polled who rate the following items as necessities:

Car 91%
Clothes washer 90%
Clothes dryer 83%
Home air conditioning 70%
Microwave 68%
TV set 64%
Car air conditioning 59%
Home computer 51%
Cell phone 49%
Dishwasher 35%
Cable/satellite TV 33%
High-speed Internet 29%
Flat-screen TV 5%
iPod 3%

My own personal ranking of these items in order of necessity: 1)cell phone 2) Computer...preferably laptop 3)internet 4)car 5)air-conditioning

There's some leeway in there, as having laptop, I could leave my house and go to where there is an internet connection and airconditioning, but I might need a car to do that, so maybe I should flip 3 and 4. It gets pretty hot here--the summer I went without A.C. I could barely sleep at night after a while. But I think I would still put it last.

I think it was the guy in Snow Crash who lived in a public storage space, but had this very souped up online existence. I can relate to that.

For me, all forms of hi-tech washing fall far behind, which says something about my priorities though I admit I would be less cavalier about giving up public laundry facilities (which I travel to in my car) as if the choice were to send me back to the washboard, I can see how that would be more of a hardship.

What about you?

I love my screenwriting teacher

I want to bring her flowers and take her out to dinner, and spend hours hearing all the interesting things that she has to say, both as a teacher a person.

So weary from all my deadlines, I went to our one on one conference today, and left feeling like I could actually come home and write...not that I necessarily will today, but still.