Thursday, August 03, 2006

Why I Can't Think of a Cute Title for this Post

Periodically I go through a phase where I feel completely out of control of everything. Like I can’t wrap my head around any single aspect of life: Not finances, not career, not our household, not our marriage. Normally these things pretty much just float in the atmosphere above my head, and I guess through some miracle of the jet stream, they never drift completely away. When I get periodically anxious and worried however, it becomes very important to me to pin things down, or barring that, maybe just tether the floating things so their presence feels more solid. And this is when it becomes apparent how unkempt, un-pruned, uncategorized, un-organized everything in my life is. I want to fix all these things, and WOE, anger and resentment unto any person nearby who doesn’t feel the need to fix them too. That would be Paul.

Maintaining a long distance relationship even though we share a residence, courtesy of the "industry standard" hours kept at the film school, and the demands of my own schedule has not helped either. Our summer semesters are over tomorrow. The appointment with a counselor is scheduled for Tuesday. Hopefully she can suggest some new strategies to get us through one more year. Fall semester starts the last week of August.

1 comment:

  1. Hello Barry. Thanks for the message. I haven't been to either blogs for a while I have been trying to keep going whilst feeling really weak with a flu. I am now on antibiotics feeling a bit more sane, but still weak.

    I skimmed your blog before and wanting to say h.

    I hope you have an enjoyable break and that the counsellor is helpful. I believe it is a very powerful tool to get advise from a trusted 3rd party.

    You are doing heaps and with the "c" thing hanging over your head just adding to the pressure I think a holiday and another opion sounds terrific. I hope that makes sense.

    Jane is still in London and her mum has sold her house and they are awaiting immigration officials to contact them with the good news that Mrs Webster can live in Oz.

    I don't know if you remember Lisa from art school, she took Marcia under her wing. She is now back in town and living in a caravan park in a very spacious set up. She says to be remembered to folk. I see her when she comes in to the library.

    I also think that's a cute title for the post.

    Love for now Margaret