Sunday, December 03, 2006

On a More Positive Note

I feel like my last couple posts of late have been somewhat negative. I’m okay with that. In fact, I intend to continue in the same vein until mid-December, so be sure to stay tuned!

But before we embark on two more weeks of hilarity, I would like to riff on the topic of gratitude. Even as I whine and complain about my workload and teachers, there are few things that even though I don’t necessarily put to paper (or screen), I do keep in mind…


My health. Part of the reason I am a bit touchy of late, is that I am traveling through the anniversary of my cancer diagnoses and surgery. In fact about right now, four years ago, I would be discussing my options and flying to the Cancer Center in Melbourne. This Tuesday I would be rolling into surgery. Thursday I would be writhing in pain post op, and Friday I would be celebrating my birthday by getting some of my catheters pulled out. But I’m not doing that. I am pursuing my studies in comfort. I can get up and walk around. I can go to friends’ houses for dinner. I complain about suffering over Old English, but I am not in pain. I may complain (in the future) about dance rehearsals, but I can dance! These are major things, and I am grateful for them.

My friends. Who are so entertaining, and encouraging, and thoughtful, and tolerant of me even when I am mired in crabdom. I have a community and I feel loved.

The Shambala Center. I have been lucky in recent years to find myself in places with small, down to earth Buddhist communities. I don’t go often, but every time I do (and I did this afternoon), I am warmly welcomed and accepted, and my time there always helps me center myself, and think of things from a larger perspective.

The weather. Which has been beautiful all week. Not too cold, with good fresh air, and sunshine. It is a pleasure every time I walk outside, even if it is just to class or to the bus.

New shoes. They’re Rocket Dogs, and they are olive green and brown which are two of my favorite colors to wear. And they are really cute. And comfortable. Every time I think of them it makes me happy.

Paul. (Gee, maybe I should have put him before shoes, not that these are in order.) But we are getting along very well lately, and even though we are both very busy, he has made some uncharacteristically chivalrous gestures lately, like the other night, he actually helped me with my jacket, and yesterday, he spontaneously rubbed my neck.

Free tickets and places to stay. I have a great credit card for air miles toward plane travel. It is so good that Citibank doesn’t offer it anymore, but they still honor it for people who have it. Thus I have a free ticket to L.A. to see my family/friends over the holidays. And my brother has lined up a house-sit, so that I will have my own apartment (with cat!) while I am there.

So, underlying all,
My deep gratitude.

We will now return to our regular programming.

No comments:

Post a Comment