Wednesday, September 03, 2008

Some Things I Hate

(I wrote this post in the airport heading to Indiana for a high school reunion, but of course due to lack of connectivity, could not post in real time. Reading it now I wonder if I should perhaps have been contemplating, old friends, wondering how the intervening years had treated them...but instead I fumed about the aiport. But in a way that is living in the NOW, which many current psychologist-authors advocate.)

I now officially HATE flying. There used to be some sense of anticipation, of adventure. This is gone. I’ve never been a big Marxist—but coming to airport makes me feel like a dehumanized proletariat commodity being manipulated and consumed by a Philip K. Dicksian capitalist machine.

I hate how because I’m not a World Class Elite passenger, I no longer have the option of being checked in by a human being. (See how they do that, they take away a standard service, but then put up this sign with words like “World Class Elite” to make me hate,not them but myself for not being in that caste. Really, is anyone flying to Indianapolis on Northwest truly "elite?"

I hate how they added the $15 dollar surcharge for my FIRST checked bag. I, of course, must check a bag because I own containers of fluids greater than 4 ounces. I could, instead invest in a number of trial size bottles. Or I could resolve to live without deodorant, sunscreen or make-up for the weekend, but I’ve already invested a certain amount of time and money toward going to see friends I haven’t seen for twenty years, I figure I might as well do it with deodorant.

I hate how I have to throw away my bottle of what is clearly water, and buy another bottle of water for $4 once I have reached the “sterile area.”

I hate how they call the gates a “sterile area.” I just walked in bare feet across the same rubber mat that thousands of other people have walked on. Set all my bags and excess clothing in buckets that just had contact with the bottom of hundreds of pairs of shoes. It doesn’t feel sterile.

I hate paying $8-$11 for a sandwich in said sterile area.

I hate how they taunt you with this thing called “Free Public Wi-Fi” that makes that weird icon but doesn’t do anything. Is it not for the public? Or is it not really wireless? And I hate how ungenerous they are with their “real” wireless.

However, I LOVE my phone with data service, because now I can check my emails in places where large organizations are skimpy with their services.

1 comment:

  1. Anonymous8:29 PM

    You're exactly right about the "world class elite." those three words washes their hands of any guilt while us proles talk to computers and get 3rd rate service.

    one little tip i've caught onto for the water bottle is this: drink all of the water in your bottle before going through 'security', put it through the xray, and retrieve it on the other side saving a good 4 bucks!

    it's totally legit, and sometimes encouraged. remember, the security folk may boss us around and touch us, but they're proles just like us who are also looking for a way to save a buck.

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